Bridesmaid dress shopping
So I’ve been thinking about this post for a week now…. Let me first tell want you that this might be a trigger for some of you. Then let me you I don’t take this post lightly. I don’t think I’ve ever been more angry about $20 in my life.
Let me begin….
Last Thursday was my DREADED dress fitting for my sister’s wedding. Now when I say dreaded I mean AWFUL. No one postpartum wants to be in a formal dress fitting at some bridesmaid dress boutique 8 weeks after having a baby. Let alone someone who gained 75 pounds in that pregnancy and still having complications from the delivery.
However, I was feeling pretty good that day. The scale showed 2.8lbs lost over the last week and well, I had to do this thing so might as well TRY to be okay with it.
When we arrived, the nerves set in. I just wanted to get in and out as soon as humanly possible. The lady doing my fitting was super nice. She gathered all the dresses for me that my sister had chosen and told me this was the ONLY size for each of these dresses. She didn’t tell me the size but talk about a RED FLAG. Instant worry. She told me that if the dress didn’t fit right that she would clip it for me if it was too big. 😂 I told her that’s probably not going to be necessary. I mean, she had to have known I wasn’t going to fit in the dresses but she was doing her usual thing and saying her usual stuff.
Sooooo, I got into the fitting area. I looked at the size of the dress – size 10. I’m usually a 10-12 but even my sister said the sizes ran small so I KNEW we were in TROUBLE. Like BIG TROUBLE. I tried putting on the first dress by stepping into it – uh that didn’t work. RED FLAG #2. I managed to wiggle it over my head and into my body. But it definitely didn’t fit right. I took one look in the mirror and I looked like an Umpa Lumpa. I told my sister she had to get into the fitting area because there is no way I’m looking into a mirror again or fitting into the rest of these dresses. She had to help me take the dress off. 😭
We tried on the second dress – the one she thought might be more flattering on me and it didn’t go past my shoulders. 😭 I literally had to hold it over my head so she could MAYBE see if it would work on my body 4 months from then. And it’s no slam at my sister, she was very kind and trying to keep me calm by reminding me I won’t look the same in 4 months but I couldn’t help but feel humiliated when she asked if they had bigger sizes. It just sucked. I knew this was going to happen. I was over it.
We were given a dress that was slightly bigger and similar style and it LOOKED HORRIBLE. We decided that she would have to pick the dress and hope to God that it would look good on my body come her wedding day.
Now, it was time to get measured. 😭 I survived that but then the lady had to tell me what size to order based on my measurements. My bust was sized 18-20 and the rest of me was recommended at a 20-22. 😱 She recommended the 20 since I’m actively trying to lose weight. I just had to suck that conversation up. It just sucked.
Side note: I want to be clear that the losing of the baby weight is important for me. The wedding definitely motivates me but for me to feel healthy and comfortable, I like being in a certain weight range. I may or may not make that by the wedding date and I’m okay with that as long as I’m trying and doing what I can, it will be what it is going to be. I’m thoroughly enjoying my activity and I feel overall it helps me be a better mom (once I get past the major tired).
So because Madison needed to eat, we hung out and I decided I might as well order the dress while we wait. It’s not something I wanted to do so if I left without doing it I would probably forget as it’s not exactly on my priority list. I go to order the dress online and not only did I have to pay for the dress and taxes, I was being charged an EXTRA $20 for being PLUS SIZED!
Now let me tell you, I was fuming!
Here’s why: I’m most likely going to lose somewhere between 30-50 lbs between now and the wedding (hoping 50lbs but let’s try to be realistic 😉) so that EXTRA $20 might not be necessary. And in fact, I’ll be cutting some of that dress off in alterations so it’s like I’m paying double!
Side note: If I ordered a size 18 it would still be plus size. I would have had to move down to a size 16 to not be charged and I frankly wasn’t comfortable with that considering their sizing.
Another reason and really the most important reason I was fuming was because WHO DOES THAT!?! Maybe it’s common practice at places and because I’m not normally plus sized I haven’t experienced it but what the hell is wrong with the clothing world?! Seriously, who charges people EXTRA for being a certain size?! Or charges people LESS for being the “right size”? That’s just plain inconsiderate, horrible, and frankly discriminatory. And I know some of you are thinking, well extra fabric… Extra fabric my ass. It’s just plain dumb and no wonder we have eating issues in this country. Seriously.
To the women who have experienced this or experience this on a regular basis, I am SORRY. I am sorry the clothing world doesn’t value you the same as those in the “right size”. I am sorry that you were ever made to feel like you’re extra and needed to pay extra. I am sorry if you were ever made to feel so different for being YOU.
I have never been so appalled in my entire life.