Judgement

There you are standing there smiling at my babies.

There you go telling me they are cute.

There you are asking me if they are twins.

There you are asking me if twins run in my family.

There you are. Judgement. There you are.

There you go asking me if she’s a girl.

There you go happily telling me “I have my girl.”

There you go asking me if I’m done.

There you are. Judgment. There you are.

Here I go shaking my head in disbelief.

Here I go replaying the conversation in my head.

Here I go pretending it didn’t bother me.

There you are. Judgement. There you are.

Here I go beating myself up for not saying anything.

Here I go saying “Next time I’ll say something different.”

Here I go looking at myself in a mirror looking for the right answers.

There you are. Judgement. There you are.

Here I am. Unsure of the next path.

Here I am. Scared of the future.

Here I am. Ready to let go.

There you are. Jesus. There you are.

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